"" Writer's Wanderings: Adoption--Bonding 2

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Adoption--Bonding 2

As I looked through the window at the newborn cribs, I anxiously awaited news of my baby. The nurse returned to the back of the chair and began wheeling.

"Your little one is keeping all the others up." She gave a little laugh. "They put him in a private room with the lights out hoping he would fall asleep."

She opened another door that led to a room off the nursery and there he was, soft little sobs shuddering his body as he fell asleep. We left him sleeping so that I could get some rest before the nursing schedule began early in the morning.

They let me sleep until 6 a.m. before they brought Andy in for his first feeding. The disappointment of not having a girl faded with one look at the beautiful infant God had blessed us with. He was pink and perfect. And just to be sure he would wind my heart around his little finger, he immediately cradled his head against my cheek, cuddling into a little ball of baby softness in my arms.

The bonding grew with each of my babies as we interacted, "talking" to each other, touching, exploring the world together. They made me feel needed and, in return, I did my best to meet their needs.

That bonding was easy. They were so little and so dependent upon me. But what would happen when I became the mother of two children, already past diapers and bottles, and with their individual personalities already formed--partly from the abuse in their lives?

1 comment:

Gwen said...

Karen-I absolutely love your style! I love how you keep me hanging and wanting more of the story! I'm anxiously awaiting the next installment because I'm right in the throws of trying to feel that bond with my son who is 4 now. On July 30 we celebrate the first anniversary of the day we picked him up. I'm still having difficulty bonding with him. It worries me and I'm hoping it's normal. I can't wait to see what you have to say about your experience.-Gwen

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