"" Writer's Wanderings: Where do babies come from?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Where do babies come from?

In FAO Schwartz there is a baby nursery similar to what you might find in the maternity ward of a hospital. A half wall is topped off with Plexiglass to allow you to view two rows of bassinettes each containing a brand new life-like baby doll. The sales clerk is dressed like a nurse and will pick up the baby of your choice and bring it out for you to hold. Then if you so choose, you may purchase the darling bundle for a cool $80.

This unique marketing idea could create all sorts of complicated issues with the age old question, "Where do babies come from?"

"Mommy goes to the hospital and they help her get the baby," Mommy explains.

Little Janie sees the babies behind the window just like at FAO Schwartz and turns to Daddy. "How much do these babies cost?" Daddy just shudders.

Now little Janie wanted a baby sister but Mommy shows her a little baby brother. Janie knows that when you buy something at the store, if you have a receipt you can return it.


"Yes, dear?"

"Where's the receipt for Baby John?"

"Receipt? Why do you want a receipt?"

"I'm gonna take him back and get a sister."

Of course that's more of an exchange. She probably wouldn't need a receipt.

Shhh! Don't tell her.

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