"" Writer's Wanderings: Friday Funny--Speechless Again

Friday, August 02, 2019

Friday Funny--Speechless Again

Two more funnies from my speaking experiences. Just before it was time for me to speak at a women's function at a church, I went into the restroom to freshen up a bit. Deciding to use the toilet, I picked a stall, entered, closed the door and sat down. When I looked up I was staring at myself. The planning committee had decided that the best place to advertise the event was on the back of the stall doors in the ladies' room. While I was startled, I had to smile. Yup. Best place to advertise.

My other story involves my husband. I was invited to speak at a campground for a women's retreat and since it was quite a drive from our home, he volunteered to drive for me. Usually, I went on my own. This would be his first experience helping me with my book sales at the engagement.

The campground was beautiful nestled among scenic mountains. The drive had been very nice. As we pulled into the campground we saw lots of cabins where most of the women were staying and in the middle of the park like setting was a huge building which I took to be a large gym. When I spoke with the chairperson she had said we would be in the chapel. I didn't see anything that looked like a chapel so we parked and got out of the car to look around and find someone to ask where to set up.

A lady came out of a door to the "gym" and stopped to greet us. When we asked, she pointed over her shoulder. "The chapel is held in the tabernacle," she said. "Just go right through that door."

Following her direction, we opened a door to a huge auditorium, a tabernacle in every description of the word. It was like the kind you see huge revivals being held in. I'm guessing it would seat 2,000 people comfortably. I hadn't asked the chairperson how many women she expected. I gulped. Well, if God wanted me to speak to a group this large, I thought, He'd better stop my knees from knocking.

I walked to the middle of the room in front of the stage and looked back to see if Bob was behind me. He was still standing there, mouth gaping, as he stared at all the seats. I can't imagine what he was thinking. When I turned around again, the chairperson was approaching me. I tried to act nonchalant as I asked her how many she expected to attend.

"At last count," she said, "we had about 150 registered."

I tried not to look too relieved. It was still a good sized group but certainly not as intimidating as 2,000 would have been. I laughed when Bob carried in the first box of books. "Do you think we have enough books?" he asked as his eyes roamed over the cavernous room again.

"Plenty," I assured him. "There's only 150 registered." He almost looked as relieved as I did.

By the way, Bob charmed all the ladies who visited the book table and when I was invited back a couple years later, the chairperson wanted to know if he was coming back too. He did, Only this time he didn't stand speechless as we entered the tabernacle.

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